November 2008 Timothy Jordan Show Voters’ Guide

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It has recently come to my attention that people actually listen to this program. What, are you crazy? All this time I thought that we were just talking into microphones for the hell of it. Now I find out that we’re actually being broadcast to a potential audience of millions?

Wild.

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As listeners may have surmised the mysterious disappearance of the News Segment was due to a deep and inescapable need for my staff and I to follow the Clinton campaign through its death throes and broadcast subliminal messages into Hillary’s hotel rooms each night.

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An unmanned spacecraft named Messenger passed within a few thousand miles of Mercury earlier this week, taking photos and measurements of unprecedented quality of which nobody took the time to notice.

The distain showed towards space exploration this week took some of the sting out of Timothy and I being pre-emptively ejected from Tuesday’s Macworld keynote address by Apple CEO, Steve Jobs.
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