June 6th, 2008
As listeners may have surmised the mysterious disappearance of the News Segment was due to a deep and inescapable need for my staff and I to follow the Clinton campaign through its death throes and broadcast subliminal messages into Hillary’s hotel rooms each night.
There really wasn’t any choice left to us. We expected the primary season to end months ago, not too long after we called the 2008 election for Mr. Obama, back in January of 2007. It was simply unacceptable that Mrs. Clinton, despite being mathematically eliminated well into last month, remained actively campaigning.
So we took matters into our own hands. As her recent speeches have indicated, our results don’t completely speak for themselves.
Each night, she’s lain her head on a pillow in which I’ve hidden a tiny little speaker. She drifts off to sleep with the sound of my voice running very quietly at about 20,000 hertz.
“It’s over. You lost. Get over it. It’s over. You lost. Get over it.”
A clash between this timely new message and her existing programming is directly responsible for Hillary’s erratic behavior in the past few weeks. It’s pretty much our fault.
On the upside, she’s not going to be in the media eye much longer, so we hope that nobody’s going to notice what we were up to.
I’m glad that you all out there have taken a moment to notice us, right now, though. This is the occasionally erratic Timothy Jordan Show News, coming to our listeners on this 6th of June, 2008.
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NASA researchers have faced systematic suppression of reports that don’t fall in line with Bush Administration policy, according to NASA’s Inspector General.
His most recent survey of NASA employees turned up widespread evidence of Administration interference in science programs at NASA.
According to the report, there are typically two venues for the release of scientific information from NASA researchers, direct publication of reports to peer-reviewed journals, and the summaries prepared by the Public Affairs office for the public at large.
While there was no reported interference in attempts to publish academic information, the Public Affairs office was responsible for many cases of distorted information going out to the media and general public.
Much of the blame can be attributed to rules put in place in December of 2001, when a new system of bureaucratic review was put into place, giving political appointees at NASA headquarters greater power to edit, adjust, and approve materials that are heading out to the general public.
NASA scientists interviewed for the report described the process as “arbitrary” and particularly focused on where increasingly gloomy climate change reports contradicted Administration policies.
If this comes as any surprise to our listeners, welcome to 2008, I totally understand why you crawled under a rock for the last two presidential terms.
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And that’s the News, in some abbreviated form, for the 6th of June, 2008.